Guilt and Regret

Guilt and regret team up like old friends,  and push me down. I want to cry and scream I’m sorry,  over and over,  until the words grow old and stale and lose their meaning. I’m afraid they will forever be fresh on my lips. Always and forever, a part of me is yours. Advertisements

remember me

remember me, fresh hair and wide eyed. rosy cheeks and mouth wide. how easily your lips opened on mine. don’t forget. I hope even when you try, you remember that night. May I always be your what if. I swear that’s all I need until I die. remember me

My claim

I wanted to stick my flag in your brain, claiming my spot in your mind and heart. I found there was no place for me. There was also no place for you in mine. What a vicious lesson letting go is. So I’ll settle for my little corner,  way in the back. The small, dark… Continue reading My claim

Maybe

Maybe he can’t love me right. Maybe I’d annoy him, or he’d annoy me. Maybe I’m too wild. Maybe he’s too unsteady. Maybe I’d be too intense for him. Maybe we’d fight too much, not communicate well. Maybe I’m too caught up in a fantasy. I’m just mad I can’t think of any other reasons… Continue reading Maybe

Wonder(ed)?

At the end of the day…..it comes simply to this: I miss you. I miss you and I wonder. I wonder about a lot, but mostly about whether miss will become miss(ed) and wonder become wonder(ed). Oh. And will I ever forgive her. I’m not stupid enough to think she was the only reason we… Continue reading Wonder(ed)?

Burn

What will I have to burn? What will need to be buried this time? I wore pink lipstick tonight to a Christmas party…. the same one I wore on my 28th birthday. The night something became unburied. Rebirthed. And the shirt I wore tonight was from that first night in the city, my sister’s birthday.… Continue reading Burn